My dark angel
by Thy Blue Pen Cap
Summary: This is basicly Hidan's love story thingy....HidanXOc
1. Chapter 1

11 years ago…  
(Konan's pov)  
I was picking herbs like Pein told me to. As I got farther into the forest, I heard a light crying. So I slowly walk up to the sound. Then I see something that even an S-ranked criminal would be shocking.

About 20 or 30 AMBU bodies, all dead, around a small girl, looking about 5 or 6. I couldn't tell what color her hair was, for it was covered with blood. And behind her was something black and with feathers, like a crow.

I slowly step over the bodies, incase of a trap, and kneel down. I started to wipe some of the blood off of her face to find pale porcine skin.

"Excuse me…do you know why my mommy and daddy left me here? Are you going to hurt me like those scary guys with the masks?" she asked with an innocent voice, looking at me with pale green eyes. "No…I'm not going to hurt. Would you like to come with me?" I asked with a smile. She smiled as she nods quickly.

As I picked her up, the wings like things I saw before, I relies that they were attracted to her. Then they slowly closed in and went into her skin.

"What's you're name?" I asked her. "My name is Yuma." "How how are you?" "I turned 5 I think 3 days ago. Where are we going blue mommy?" I started lightly blushing for the fact that she called me mommy. "We're going home", I said as we walked to base.

Before I got to the entrance, Zestu caught me. "Hello Konan-san" "Is that our dinner?" both sides asked. "Wow! I like your plant things and how you can talk two different stuff at the same time!" little Yuma exiectly said. "No this isn't your dinner but there is about 25 AMBU bodies about 6 miles out""They give you any trouble?" the white side asked.

"Are you talking about the scary mask guys? If so I thinked that I kill them", Yumi said smiling away. "Holy shit! You got to be kidding me? This kid?!" "Hey don't curse! There is a little girl here!" both of them said starting to fight with each other again.

"Before I show you to my boss how about we give you a bath?" I told as I carry her to my bathroom. Then she quickly took her clothes off and jumped into the bathtub. As I wash the blood off, the color of her hair appeared white. I took her out of the tube and put a towel around her. I walked into my room and found the smallest shirt I have and gave it to her. She put it on. The bottom of the shirt reaches to the bottom of her knees.

"Ohhh! Pretty dress!" she spinning around laughing. I bend down and said, "Yuma…I want you to hold my hand when we go down to my boss's office. There might be a chance that you can't stay here. Okay?" "Okay Mommy!" she said grabbing my hand.

Then we pretty much walked across the hall. Then I knocked on the door and waited for him to call me in. "Leader-sama….I need to ask you something." I said keeping Yuma behind me. Then I didn't feel Yuma. Then I see Yuma standing on his desk staring straight at Pein.

"Konan why is there a little girl standing on my desk?" Before I could say Yuma blankly said, "Daddy, those thingys on your face are cool!" Both Pein's and my eyes were wide open for what she just called him. "Did she just call me 'daddy'?"

Before I can answer again she said smiling, "Yes I did daddy! Can show you a sercet, daddy?" Before he answered she used the bird sign and then her black wings bust from her back.

"What we have here is part of the Uingusu clan. But this is unusual normally there is white wings, but her's are black as night. Now why is she here?" "Well daddy! Mommy bought here b/c my old mommy and daddy left me behind b/c of my wings. Then all these scary guys with mask started to attack me! Then I killed them all with the justu that my old nii-chan taught me! Then mommy found me! And here I am daddy!" she explained before I answered his queison.

"I guess she can stay. If she can't handle any of the members or I can't stand her or any of the members kill her or anything like that she's gone. And please tell her to stop calling me daddy" "Leader-sama, you should be honored. She didn't call Zestu daddy." "Well Zestu is kind of scary" "She wasn't scared. She compilmed him"

"Okay. If she calls no one else is called that, then she may call me that. Understand?" he said going back to his paper work. "Yes leader-sama", I said leaving the room. "Bye daddy!" I smirk. Right now I just love the fact she calling Pein daddy.

I lead Yuma to the kitchen and I see Kukzu. "Who's the kid, Konan?" he asked harshly staring down at Yuma. "Wow. Nii-chan, you're tall!" she said with amazement.

"….Did she just call me Nii-chan?" "At least it's better then being called daddy" "Who she call that?" he asked as he starts smirking. "Leader-sama" Then he had a blank expertise on his face then he starts chuckling. "What's so funny nii-chan?" Yuma asked. He picked her up and said, "You are" "Nii-chan, your boo-boos are cool and your eyes are the same color as money", she said as she touches one of his stitches.

"Nii-chan?" "Yes?" "Do your boo-boos hurt?" "No. Why?" "Because it looks like its hurts" Then he softly smiles at that comment and puts her down. "Cute kid. What's her name?" "Her name is Yuma. Yuma you like some lunch?" "Yes! Can I have some dingos?" "How bout a sandwich?" "That's good too!"

I quickly make a PP&J and gave it to her. "Wow! This is a lot better than what old mommy gave me!" she said when she took a bite. "What did your old mom give you?" "When I looked at the bag it came from, it had a cat on it and it tasted like fish", she answered as she bit her sandwich.

I looked at with sad eyes. How can she be so sweet when she was treated so badly? "But my old nii-chan would always give me some of his food and told me to eat it quick before mommy caught us" "Well…where is your old nii-chan?" "He's dead. Old daddy caught him giving me food. And then he told old mommy. Then she cut his neck and then she said that I did it. Old mommy was mean!" she answered stuffing the last piece of the sandwich, "Thanks mommy for lunch!" Then she ran out of the kitchen.

(Kisame's pov)  
Pretty much it's me and Ochimuru sitting here watching some random TV show, I heard little patter footsteps. Then sadden I was tackled by a little white hair girl. "Nii-chan? Why is your hair so tall? And why are you blue and smell like the food with kitty on the bag?" she asked with a smile on her face.

"I didn't know you have a little sister?" Ochimuru said eyeing her. "I'm an only child. Little girl why are you here?" "Well…I live here with mommy and daddy! That's why I'm here, nii-chan!" "Okay! Good enough for me!"

Then I notice Ochimuru walking up to her and pick her. "Aren't you cute", he said. "EWW! Go away snakie man! Let me go!" she said straggling. "Hey man. Put her down", I told him.

He didn't listen.

"Dumb ass! I told you to put her down", I yelled. "Why? She's cute!" he said.

"If you don't put me down, I'll hurt you, like with those scary mask guys!" she thearted. He didn't listen.

"That's it!" she yelled as she made a bird sign. Then sadden black wings grow from her back and knocked him away from her. She land on her feet and ran behind me saying, "Nii-chan…can you keep snakey man away from me. He's scary…" "Ochimuru…just stay away from her. Now kid. Where's your dad?" I said patting her head.

"I'll show you!" she said pulling me toward the way of Leader-sama's office. "Never mind! Your dad's mostly likely working! What's your name kid?" "My name is Yuma! Hey nii-chan? Are there any more people other than you, mommy, daddy, boo-boo, and yucky snaky man?" she said.

"Yeah?" "Can I meet them!?" "Sure…okay?" "Yes!!"

We meet with the other members; she looked like she wasn't too interested in them. Might as well let her met Sasori. We got to his door.

"Nii-chan? Whose room is this?" "This is Sasori's room. He's most likely doing something with his dolls" "Nii-chan! That's mean! I don't think he plays with dollies! I don't play with them!" "Why not?" "Because their yucky!" I smirked at her answer. I opened the door and see the room dark with only light coming from where he was working. Then I see her quietly walking toward him.

(Sasori's pov)

I was just finishing up one of my newest puppets, when a little white hair girl climbs up on my desk.

"Who are you and what are you doing in here?" I asked coldly. She keep smiling and answered, "I'm Yuma and I wanted to meet you, nii-chan. And to see if you really play with dolls. But you don't" "Who said I play with dolls?"

"Fishy…But I told him that was mean of him to say that. You have pretty red hair", she said she reach up to my hair. I thought she would yank my hair, she gentle plays with it. "Why are you here?" "Daddy said I could live here" "Who's your father?" "The guy with the black thingys on his face" So her father is Leader-sama…when did he have a kid?

"Nii-chan do you know what the guys in the scary mask called?" "Ahhh…AMBU? Why do you need to know?" "Because I want to know what I killed" "What do you mean kill? Did you kill an AMBU member?" "I killed a lot of them." "How many?" "I think mommy said 25. Is that a lot?" "Yes. Why did you kill them?" "Because they were trying to hurt me. What are you working on? It's pretty"

"I'm working on a puppet" "Wow. It's like a piece of art!" she said smiling. A piece of art…I can see it like art. "Nii-chan I think your art will last forever! It will stay pretty forever!!!" "So you're saying that my art will be ever lasting?" "Yepers nii-chan!"

I think like her, she's not as annoying as Ochimuru. "Nii-chan?" "Yes?" "Do you know the yucky snakey man?" "Snakey man? I think you mean Ochimuru. Sadly I do and he's my partner" "Eww. Even he's name sounds yucky!" she said sticking out her tonage.

I smirked as I checked the time. It was 10:52 pm. "I think you need to go back to your mother", I told her. "Nii-chan? Can you help me find my mommy? I don't want the snakey man getting me again" "Okay", I said getting up. Then she grabs my hand.

I looked down and see her smiling. Then I feel a warm feeling. Wait! I'm a puppet. I can't have emotions. But still…

"Now who's your mother?" "My mommy has blue hair and blue eyes and a flower in her hair!" Okay… So she's Koran and Pein's kid. Interesting…

"Mommy!!! Where are you!!! Mommy!!!" she shouted. Damn, she's sure is loud. "Yuma there is no reason to yell. Oh hello Sasori. So Yuma has been with you the whole time. Hope she wasn't much trouble" "She not that troubling. I wondering…how did you hide a loud child for a few years?" "Nii-chan I only was here for one day!" "Sasori. "She's apotaded. She's not like me and Leader-sama's child", Koran said as she started blushing a bit. "Anyway I'll see you tommow Yuma-chan" "Bye nii-chan!! I love you!" Yuma said as she was being carried away by Koran.

(Koran's pov)  
I laid Yuma in my bed and pull the covers over her. Then minutes later, she fell asleep. I smile a bit, bended down and kissed her forehead. Then I turned off the lights and close the door behind me so I can help Pein with his work.

* * *

So what you think? Tell me! =D

And there is Sasori's first little fangirl....


	2. Chapter 2

4 years later…  
(Yuma's pov)(Who's now 9)  
Dad said that we're going to be meeting a new member. Sweet! Now I'll have a new friend! "Yuma! You have to put on your cloak if you want to come!" "Okay mom!" I quickly put on my cloak and ran out to meet Kisame.

"Hey Yuma-chan! You coming with?" "Nope! I'm going to spy on you the whole way!" I said sarcasm. "Whatever! Let's go" "Alright my super tall fish man!" I said running for my life. "You little brat! I told you to stop calling me a fish", he said catching me. "But I said you're MY fish man! Not ANY kind of fish man! Learn to listen!"

"You're a fricking brat" "But remember! I'm your brat! So anyway where's our new member at?" "He's in the Fire country" "How far is that?" "Not that far actually. But it might take a day" "Well! Let's go! We don't want this dude waiting!" I said dragging him by his arm.

Even for a small 9 year old girl like me I can kick a lot of people's asses and I know like 4x more justu than any kid would my age! Fuck them up the asses with Kisame's sword! (She has such a colorful language. :D)

We decided to take a rest. "So how far is our meeting spot" "Actually at that dingo shop" "Oh Yum! Bout fucking time we have some fucking dingos!" "God you have a dirty mouth…." "Sooo… Even the nicest of people could have the dirtiest of mouths…." He just rolled his eyes at me.

At the dingo shop I see a raven boy just a few years older then me. I sat next to him. We ordered our dingos and eat in silence. "So you're the people from the Akatsuki I'm meeting?" the raven asked. I nodded my head. I knew this was not the time to miss around. "Okay. Let's go", the raven said getting up.

Then both of us get up as well. We walk till we reach the forest. Then Kisame said, "You are Itachi Uchiha, correct" "Correct" "I am Kisame and I will be your partner"

"Wait! What! I thought he was going to be my fucking partner! That's no fucking fun! Any way I'm Yuma and yes that is my fucking dirty mouth. And doesn't fucking treat me like a little fucking servant. There is a reason why we need more members. Just because I'm fucking 9 doesn't mean I'm fucking useless! And because I'm a girl they think they like fucking push me around, NO I'll fucking murder them!!", I said for some reason started ranting about the old members who treated me like a maid.

Then Kisame smacked the back of my head. "Thanks Kisame-chan. I needed that. I'm sorry Itachi-san for my ranting. Please forgive me", I said apolizing to him. That was really stupid of me. For all I know he could be really intelligent. He kinda looks like it.

I try to look into his eyes but they were red with the sharingan, so I did the smart thing and don't do it. But dumbass wanted to look into his eyes….then he fells over into genjustu. "Itachi….Now I feel bad for you. He's your fucking partner….oh well. Might as well drag him back", I said as I grabbed his leg.

"God damn he's like a fucking drunker." I finally said about most of the way. "You know I could of carried him, Yuma", Itachi said. "Okay that sounds nice. Thanks Itachi-san", I said as I gave him the leg I was carrying. "Sooo…Yuma your 9...huh and your in this origination. How?" "My adopted father let me live here when I was 5. When I was found I actually was found with 25 dead AMBU bodies. And guess who kill them?"

"Your real father" "Nope. He was the one who called them over. I was the one who murdered them. If you think I'm lying then you can see all the masks that Zestu counted", I said. Then I look at him and see him smirking. "What! It's not like you did anything too terrible! So stop your damn smirking!"

"I just killed my whole clan expect my little brother a couple of days an ago" "Oh well that's sweet of you" "I just need to test my strength" "Oh that's cool" "Really? And that don't scary you?" "Nope. After living in the Akatsuki for half of your life you get use to it. There's a lot scarier looking guys then you"

"Are you saying that I'm pretty?" "That's actually what I'm saying!" I said wearing a big grin. "…" "What? It's true! Its you, Sasori, my mom, and dad are the pretty ones. Well Kuzkzu is really handsome if he would take off that god damn hood! And for Kisame and Orochimaru….their too horrifying to fix", I said scratching my head.

Then I heard chuckling from Itachi. This was about the time when we got to the entrance. "Okay Itachi-san. This is the justu to get into the entrance. Now look carefully for I'm not going to show you again." I said before I did the justu. I quickly did the justu and when into the hideout.

"Welcome to our nice little home! This is one of the many hideouts that we will be staying if we're not on missions. This is got to be my favorite one that I been to! Come on! We have to report you to my dad! You can just leave fishy on the ground there." I said grabbing his hand and pulling to dad's office.

I knocked on the door. "Okay Itachi-san, just listen to him and call him Leader-sama. And please do NOT disrespect him. Or he will kick your ass. I know he will. I've seen him do, too. That was pretty fun watching that…." I whispered before we got into the office. "Hi dad! I got Itachi-san back here!" I said pulling up Itachi's arm.

"What happen to Kisame? This was HIS mission." "Oh. Dumb ass desired to look into Itachi's Mangekyo Sharingan. Then he got locked into a genjustu. And you still need to teach me genjustu release like you promised about a week ago", I said.

"How about Itachi teaches you? He's expert in Genjustu!" "Really!? Itachi would you really teach me!!" I said shining my green eyes at him. "I guess I will", Itachi said. "OMFG!! YES! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH NOW!!" I said tackling him down with love.

"Itachi….I will tell you one thing. NO funny business!" "Dad! Why would he like me like that! He's most likely like 15 or 16!"

"No. I'm 13" "Ohhh…No wonder you're so fucking pretty! You haven't gone through puberty yet!" I said as I started giggling. "Yuma-san! Shut up now." Itachi said as calming as he could.

Which made me laugh even harder. "Oh my fucking god! It's true then!" I said as I was laughing super hard. "Yuma! Watch your mouth!" dad said about my dirty words. "Dad…I think you should know that I can not watch my own mouth unless I stay in the bathroom all day!" I said I heard dad growl.

"I win!" I said leaving the room with Itachi. "You know that mostly the girls who win a fight with her father are a spoil brat" "Nope. I'm the 1.5% that uses logic to win the fight. And I'm the .000000002% who can win against the Akatsuki leader! Which is even better! Go logic!"

"Yuma-chan….Is there a library here?" "Oh hell yeah! That why I like it here! It has the biggest library I've seen. Follow me! It's in a secret hallway. Most of the people here can't even find it", I said as I push a bookshelf in. And then we walk down into a two story room.

"What do think? Bitchin huh?" Then I see him go starit to the hidden jutsu section. Oh well…. Then I started to walk near the back of the library and started reading some old books about the myths of some even older religions. Then I came across something interesting.

Jashin.

It says that you sacrifice someone to him and worship him….he gives you immortality. "Oh my fucking god….Could he really give me this kind of power", I said to myself. I think I will try this for myself. I bite my thumb and let it bleed out.

Then I drew out his symbol, a circle with an upside down triangle in it. I stepped inside and tried praying to him.

'Jashin-sama? Are you there?' I waited for an answer.

'Yes, Yuma-san?' 'How do you know my name?' 'I know everything! What is it that you want my child?' 'I want to worship you and to give me immortality, Jashin-sama' 'Then very well… You must make sacrifices to me every week for I can see that you may have trouble doing it daily' 'Thank you Jashin-sama' 'And one more thing' 'Yes, Jashin-sama?' 'The first man you meet who follows my way, you must wed. Do you understand?' 'Yes and may I ask you something?' 'What is it?'

'Is my father a god like he says he is?' 'Yes he is. He is one of those lower gods. They have very godly powers but can be killed by a human' 'Ohhh…Thank you Jashin-sama' Then I open my eyes.

Oh my Jashin…did I just speak to Jashin-sama? I think I just did. Then I step out of the circle and went into my room.

And much to my surprise, there on my bed was a large scythe with Jashin's symbol on the blade. I picked it up and held it in my hands. I took in the 6 foot weapon's beauty.

"Thank you again, Jashin-sama"

* * *

What's you think?

Itachi: ...wtf...

Me: tehehe Thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

5 years later… (Yuma's is now 14)  
"Yuma-san, would you like to come with to get Sasori's new partner?" Itachi-san asked me as he put on his cloak. "OH FUCK YEAH! Let me get my cloak!" I yelled as I ran to get my cloak, my scythe, and my destroyed looking black stuff cat. (Cat is in the picture) "I'm back! And now we're ready for action!" I said jumping on Sasori's puppet. "Yuma-chan…Get off of me", he said in his deep voice. "Nii-chan, your puppet. It's not like you can get tired" "How about you ride on the walk back okay?" "Ah…Nii-chan…You sure know how to make a woman happy", I said getting off of him. "Why do you still carry that cat?" Itachi-san asked as he tried covering his face. "But Itachi-san! You made it! So its spieal to me! You don't have to be embarrassed about it!" I hear Sasori chucking. "Nii-chan…I think you shouldn't be laughing, cause it's not like I can't embessre you!" I scold.

"Sooo…Where's is this new member, Itachi-san?" "In the Land of the Earth" "You got to be fucking kidding me! We have to travel though a country just to get there! Damn it!" So we walked another 5 DAYS and we finally got there. We arrive at a temple. "Yuma-chan, I want you to stay outside the temple for look out. Okay?" "Fine…Damn it I always miss all the fun", I said standing outside the temple door. After a few minutes, I heard an exploit. NO FAIR! I want to see something blow up!! And those two are no fun! Maybe a quick look wouldn't hurt. I look in and see someone fling over Itachi's shoulder. "Are we going?" I asked. Itachi-san nodded. "Yes!" I said leaping on Sasori's puppet. "Damn it", he quietly said. "You were hoping that I would forget! Well a deal too good can not be forgotten!" I said as we started to travel back to the base.

"So how was the fight?" I asked like an hour later. "It was fine", Itachi-san answered. "What the-", I heard coming from the blond on Itachi's shoulder. "Oh cool! The person's wake!" I said exactly, "Itachi-san put the blond down!" Then he put the person down against a tree. "Who the hell are you, un", the blond asked rubbing what looks like her head. "Honey, we caught you to become our sex slave!" I said jumping off Sasori and on the ground in front of her. "WHAT! YOUR SEX SLAVE, UN!!!" "Settle down! You're not going to become our sex slave! I'm just kidding! You are going to the third female in the Akatsuki! I'm Yuma!" "…Did you just call me a girl, un" "Nooo…I called you a woman, why?" "Because I'm not a girl, yeah" "Your not?" "Can't you see any boobs" "Maybe your flat chested", I answered knelling down. "I'm not a girl. I'll prove to you"

"Alright then", I said taking off his shirt. I started rubbing my hands over the things that look like breast. Nope. Their measles. I look up and his face all red. "What? Why are you blushing?" "Um. Um. Um. Um. Can you get off Yuma, yeah", he said nervously. "Okay!" I said getting up. I see Itachi is starting to get a nosebleed. "What the hell are you staring at!? I didn't do anything!" I said getting back on Sasori. Then the man quickly put on his shirt. "Oh yeah! I forgot to ask you your name! What is it?" I said. "I'm Deidara, un" "I can see why", I said snickering. Now I'm imagining him as a talking banana. Then he walked up and asked, "It's my hair, right, hmm" "Yes!" "God how old are you. You act like a weird 15 year old. Please, un", he asked with the last part a whisper. "Nooo…I'm a weird 14 year old. But good try! In 3 months I'm 15! Why do you want to know?" "Oh nothing. Nice cat, un" "Thanks! Itachi-san gave me him on my 13th birthday!" "Where are we going, hmmm?" "We're going to the Akatsuki base", Itachi-san said.

About day 3, I said to Sasori, "Nii-chan, I like your new partner! Deidara is a lot better than Orochimama! And you know it's true!" "Yeah I guess he's better then him, but he's a brat. He's too loud and his idea of art is totally off. He should know that art is everlasting", he answered. "Cool! Dei-dei's an artist, too!" "Barely" "Nii-chan your mean! Hey Dei-dei! Is it true that you're an artist?" "Yep, Art is a bang, yeah!" "Show me! Show me!" "Alright! un!" Then he started gathering clay in his hand from no where and quickly makes a butterfly. "Oh my gosh…That really pretty!" "That's not even the best part, yeah", he says as he tossed it a little as it starts flying.

Then I started to chase it and when I touch it, it exploded! The explosion blew off my arm and head. "Yuma-chan! Deidara you fucking idiot! You blew up my little sister! Now you are going to have everyone so fucking pissed. Including Leader-sama!" Itachi-san yelled at hitting him in the head. "Uh… Guys can you help me out and get my body and my arm?" I said. Then they started staring at me. "Guys! Fucking stop staring at me like I'm some fucking naked hot chick and get my fucking arm and body!" I yelled even louder. Fucking assholes…

After a few minutes of searching they found them and put my head with my body and arm. "Umm…Yuma-chan…Why are you still alive, hmmm?" Dei-dei asked. "Well Dei-dei! I worship a god named Jashin-sama. With all my suffices, he gave me immortally. So I lived with that explosion! And that reminds that I need to pray!" I said before quickly praying. After I finished I asked Sasori, "Hey nii-chan…How is it going to be when we get to the base?" "We're almost there" "Sweet! Maybe Scars can sew me up!" I said smiling. "How can you smile when your body is next to you, UN?" Dei-dei asked poking my side. "Easily! You make your lips move like this and then you have a smile!" I said sticking my tongue out at him. Then he just grinned.

Finally we made into the base. "Dei-dei can you carry my head into my dad's office, so we can report that we got you", asked Dei-dei. He picked up my head and I told him where to go. He knocked on the door. "Okay Dei-dei! Before we get in there, you must be very respectful to my dad or he would make life a living hell for you. And you have to call him Leader-sama. And please don't hit on my mom", I said explaining to him what to do. We waited till we are called in.

As soon as we got in the door, Dad started yelling, "OMG! WTF! WHY IS MY LITTLE GIRL'S HEAD AWAY FORM HER BODY! I DON'T CARE IF I NEED YOU, I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!!!" "Dad! Settle down! I'm okay! I'm still alive! Don't kill Dei-dei! It wasn't his fault! I touched one of his bombs! Please don't kill him!" I said. "Yuma…Tell me how this happened", dad said sitting back in his chair. "Dad about 5 years ago, I read about this religion and it said if I worship Jashin-sama, I'll be given immortally. And he was the one who gave me my scythe. And I make sacrifices every week since he knows that I can't do it everyday. It's been like that for 5 years. I didn't tell anyone this because I didn't think it would matter. And plus I never been killed before. I'm sorry that I didn't say anything." "Its okay…I'll get Kakuzu to sew you up. What else is blew off?" "My arm! Cool! I'll get stitches like Scars!" I said grinning away, "Anyway… Where's mom?" "Oh. I asked her to get some herbs from the forest. Deidara-san takes Yuma to the clinic" "Okay! See ya Dad!" I said carrying me away to the clink.

Then we pass by Sasori, he was out of his puppet. After we walked pass him, Dei-dei asked me, "Who's him, hmmm?" "Oh! That's Sasori!" "Really, un!?" "Before he was in his puppet. He uses it as a weapon and a shield" "A follow artist…I respect his art but I think that art is fleeing and that's what makes it so great, but he doesn't really respect mine", he sadly said with a little blush on his face. "Don't worry about that! Nii-chan can be really hard headed at some stuff. I think he'll learn to respect it since you two are partners", I said reassuring him.

And we walked into the clinic and see Kakuzu. "Hey Scars! Can you sew me up?" "Alright Yuma-chan…Why are you still alive?" "I thank Jashin-sama! Because of him I'm still alive! Anyway…Did Sasori or Itachi drop off my arm and body?" "I think Sasori is getting your body, he'll be here in a minute or two" "Sweet…I don't like being bodiless it sucks. Oh this is Dei-dei! His bombs are kick ass! But you shouldn't touch them! They hurt!", I said as nii-chan walked in with the rest of my body. "Hi nii-chan! Thanks for getting my body!" "Your welcome Yuma-chan. Itachi put your stuff in your room"

Then Dei-dei gave Kakuzu my head and then he started sewing me together. As I was being sewed up I see both Sasori and Dei-dei talking and blushing. Sasori's was less noticeable but I can still tell that he was. Now I'm thinking that they could be come more than friends. Before Kakuzu finished up my arm, I see Sasori kiss Dei-dei's cheek! Okay they are going to be more then just friends! Now lets hope for some pretty man babies! (lol man babies…)


	4. Chapter 4

Another 2 years later… (Now she's 16 and present)

I was just flying around with Koneko and my scythe with my neko hood up, when I heard cursing. I follow the yells and see a head less gelled back white haired man shouting, "HEY! YOU STUPID ASS HOLES! GET BACK HERE WITH MY BODY!" I'm guess that he hasn't seen me yet. I fly over to the angry head.

"ANd who are you?" he said as looked at my huge ass necklace of Jashin's symbol. I gently picked up his head and said sweetly, "Now who took your body? I'm going to help you put your head back on your body. Then I'll take you to my father, for I think you can be of use"

"A-are you an angel?""Depends on whose angel you think I am. Now who's ass do we have to kick to get your body?" "Aright! I'll tell you. Just head over to my village" "The village hidden in the hot springs?" "Well duh! It's the only fucking village near here!" "Sorry! Damn you don't need to bitch at me! I'm fucking helping you! I could be a bitch and leave you here and then let my cat piss all over your head" That shut him up. Ha ha ha! That's fucking right you don't fucking mess with Yuma Uingusu!

I start going into the village and see people staring at me. Well maybe I think I know why…A fucking Gothic looking chick with black wings carrying both a long scythe and fucking loud ass head or maybe the fact that there's a stuff cat following me.

Either way it didn't matter so I bend down and said to Koneko, "Koneko…Can you sniff this guy's head so we can track his body. After we're done I'll buy you the biggest fucking tuna fish this village got, okay? Will you do it?" My little Koneko widen his visible eye and responded, "Fine…I'll do for a small fish and you. You know Yuma-chan you don't need to super size the fish you offer me" "Sooo… That because I wuv you!"

"Did that fucking cat fucking talk!" the man yelled. I bocked him on the head and said, "Hey don't fucking talk to him like that! His my best friend! Now Koneko! Take a big sniff of his hair!!" Put the head close up to Koneko. "He smells like hair gel and blood. Weird combination…" he says smelling the air, "Got it. Yuma-chan and … whoever you are please follow me" "Hey my name fucking Hidan!" "Fine…HIDAN! God such a brat…"

Then we see Hidan's body lying around on a bench. "THOSE FUCKERS!! I'M FUCKING KILL AND GIVE THEM JASHIN-SAMA!! YEAH I FUCKING HE'LL LIKE THAT!!" "Yeah! What the fuck! You don't fucking do that to someone's body! That's bullshit! I'm fucking joining you on that fucking sacrifice!" I said striating up his body preparing to sew it back on.

"Hey! What are you doing?! Don't fucking sew on his head, you dumb broad!" I heard from the people behind me as I sewed Hindan's head back onto his neck. When I finished I got up and helped him up as well. "Thanks. Without you some jack ass would mostly wanted to play fucking soccer with my fucking head. Ready?" "Oh hell yeah", I said swinging my scythe to cut someone's cheek. I bring it back to lick it. I grin cheerfully and said, "Jashin-sama will be very pleased with us, Hidan-san" "So sweet yet very sadist", Hindan said doing the same.

Then we began the massacre of the hidden village of Hot Springs. Maybe an hour or 2 after we started we killed up to 98 ninjas, 89 men, 56 women, and 12 children. By the end of it my hood was down and I was covered in blood from head to toe. "Well lets go to my house so we can get cleaned up, Hindan-san", I happily marched. "How far is it, Yuma-san?" "It's not that far! We'll most likely see Zestu-chan!" And just soon as we got to the entrance I see Zestu.

"Hey Zestu-chan! There are about 255 dead people about 15 miles away. Have fun eating!" I said as I do the justsu to get in. "Come on Hindan-san! We have to ask my dad if you can stay!" "Why are you even dragging me here?" "I told you that I was going to bring you here, dumb ass! And I always keep promises!" I knock on the door. For some reason I didn't tell him about the rules. I think I'll let him figure it out on his own. I'm such a bitch.

I waited to be called in. "Hi Dad! Do you mind if my friend Hidan stays here?" "…wtf…Yuma…Do you know that I just send Kakuzu to go get his new partner?" "Really?! That's cool! I hope he isn't some asshole who thinks he's better than me! What his partner's name?" "Yuma… he's standing right next to you…" "…Cool!!! Your Kakuzu-chan's partner! No wonder dad pick you since you're a Jashinist! You have no idea how many partners he killed because that pissed him off or they did something to me! It was very fun to see them being ripped apart limb by limb…good times…" I said happily.

"You need to really stop hanging out with him… your getting more sadist by the day…" dad said rubbing his temples. "Tehehe", I said smiling, "Can I go take a shower…I'm all bloody. Tehehe" Then I walk out of the office.


	5. Chapter 5

Hidan's POV

I watch Yuma as she left her fucking dad's office. Then I turn around to look at the fucking man. Fucking orange hair and fucking gray ringed eyes. What the hell is up with the fucking piercings? "Sooo...your Yuma's fucking dad? You don't look a fucking thing like her",I said breaking the silence.

"She is adopted by me and my partner about 11 years ago" "So what the fuck am I suppose to do here? And who the hell are you talking about partner?" "Well Hidan, your going to do missions for me, a all knowing god-" "Hey! Fuck you! You are not no god! Only Justin-sama is the all knowing god!",I yelled interrupting him. Stupid god complex-ed guy thinking that he's a god, freaking stupid head...

"Oh really? Shut up. Anyway you are in room 6 and you share a bathroom Yuma-chan" "Great...I have to fucking share with a fucking girl...who probables fucking takes like three fucking hours..." "Not really. Half hour is the most she takes. And quiet the foul mouth. Your worse than Yuma..." "NO! I fucking won't!",I said walking out of the room. Now to fucking find room fucking 6. Okay I'll just walk down this fucking hallway....

Fuckkkkkk....I'm fucking lost. Right now I'm fucking near room 15fucking3! God damnit! I'm so fucking pissed! "Hidan?",a high pinch voice said behind. I turn around to see Yuma. "Where the fuck am I?" "What are you looking for? I'll help you" "Fucking room 6" She smiles and took my arm and pulled me down the hall passing like three fucking doors. "Here's room 6",she said standing in front of fucking room 6. "What the fuck is wrong with this fucking screwed up place!"

"The reason its this screwed up, because dad wants to confuse enemy if they come inside somehow",she said,"The bathroom is across the hall and you'll find the living room and kitchen down the to your right and becraful not to get lost. We lost a guy from starvation and it was sure fun teasing that asshole with that chicken wing. Good times. And if you want a properly cooked dinner be in the living room by 6:30. See ya!"

She walked away the way to the living room and the kitchen suppose to be and I went inside my new fucking room. The whole place was filled with black and red. Its not the fact that I don't like it but maybe...just maybe...EVERYFUCKINGTHING HAD A FUCKING PICTURE OF A GUY!!! "WHAT THE FUCK IS ALL THIS SHIT!!", I bast out yelling. "God damn it, Ochimuru. He forgot the pictures of Itachi. Just throw them in the trash. You must be Hidan. I'm Konan and I'm the Leader's partner", said a blue haired woman who came out of no way. "Holy Fuck! You just came out fucking nowhere! Don't do that!",I yelled.

"Sorry. Actually just me those pictures and I'll give them to him",she said sweetly. "Okay...Here",I said quickly giving them to her. "Did you hear about the Hot Springs massacre. Hopefully that Yuma didn't take part in that",she said as an evil aroma starts setting in. I'm kinda of fucking scared now.

"Y-yeah, I did. I was part of the massacre, bitch",I said trying to hold my pride. "Did you just call me a bitch. If you think I'm being one right now. Then I'll be a bigger one real soon",she said grabbing my shirt collar and dragging me out of my room. Okay I'm fucking scared.

She dragged me down to the living room and stopped at a random rope that was laying on the floor. She ties my arms and legs together. "What fuck are you doing you crazy hag!",I yelled. "You have no reason to talk with the situation your in",said a guy who look like a fucking shark.

"Fuck you, Jaws!",I said trying to flip that blue fucker off. "Well that was a fail",Yuma's stupid cat said walking around me. "Shut up fur ball" "Konan-sama...Do you think we should hung him from somewhere",the cat said standing next to the blue-haired bitch.

"Yes we should and shall. Kisame! Wanna help us hung this asshole somewhere?",she said. "Oh hell yeah!",Jaws yelled as he picked me up by hands and feet. Then suddenly Yuma came out and said,"My sadist senses are tingling. Oh Hi Hidan! Did you make my mom mad already?"

Then she took me from Jaws hands and starts carrying me like a fucking purse to the kitchen. "Your soo fucking lucky that I saved your dumb ass from Mom and her beautifully evil ways. Now your going to help me make dinner to keep you out of trouble. Now get the noodles from the cabinets",she said waging her fucking finger at me, like a mother to a child.

"Yes, mother",I said looking through the cabinets to get the stupid noodles. "I'm six years younger than you...How the hell does that work?",she said putting a pot of water on the stove. "How would you know how old I am?",I sassed back. "I looked through your files before I saved your ass from my mom",she said smiling.

"Why?" "Cause...I read them cause I'm bored" "Nice. Fucking nice",I said handing her the damn noodles. "Thank you",she said turning on the stove and put the noodles on the counter. Then suddenly a fucking tall masked guy came into the kitchen. "Kakuzu-nii-chan!",Yuma yelled and hugging the person.

"Hello Yuma-chan. What's cooking?",he said,"And who in the hell is that idiot?" He was talking about me. "Hey fuck you, you fucker!",I yelled. "Nii-chan. This is Hidan, your partner. And Hidan this my favorite brother, Kakuzu",Yuma said introducing us.

"Great. This is my partner now. Looks like you'll be dead in a week",that bastard huffed. "Ha. You wish. I can't die, you stupid fuck",I said grinning away. "Fuuuuuccckkk. Just what I wanted. An immortal idiot for a partner.

"You should of knew that you would of been stuck with a Jashinist. With your over-provocative nature and you being extremely hot-headed",Yuma scolded as she began to cut up carrots and potatoes. I start snickering and he gave me this really dirty look. Which made me snicker even more.

Then something hit me. Seriously, it hit hard in the back of the head. "Hidan, stop your snickering and put the carrots and potatoes in the pot. You already started fight and you don't need to start another one",Yuma said holding up a frying pan.

Fucking bitch.

* * *

44 Hidan said fuck 44 times

Sorry I'm keeping track on how time I have Hidan curse. tehehe

Hidan: Fucking bitch

Me: You know what! 45 times! Yeah that's right hoe!

Hidan: Whatever

Me: Whatever to yourself. Anyway thanks for reading.


End file.
